Grapes of Wrath Part Two

Went to Mike’s match in Tontitown Monday night sos I sould hitch a ride wiff a bunch of fellars from Arkensaw. Spent the night at Roger (Ruger) Reid’s house. We were set to leave bout Six a.m.. Naturally at four thirty I heared “Ya gonna sleep your life away, Ha ha ha haa”. That sorta set the tone fer the trip. I even got Rick to imitate that an got it set as my alarm. Along wiff Roger Ruger, my travelin buddy wuz Rick (Trivia King) Miller, Mike (Digital) Hillyer an Arkensaw Jeff Weimholt. Wiff everybody takin aturn at driven, wa’ll almos everybody, I slept through my turn an don’t member much. When we hit Holbrook Arizona, Rick Miller took in the desolute scenery an tried to help feed the needy. Or at least someone stole his cooler full of the top of the line deli meats. We were jes fillin up the short bus an Rick put his cooler out to drain. He went inside to use the facilities an when he came out it wuz gon. Then he searched for the ransom note to no avail. It was Rick’s favorite cooler an it had served him well in two forth of July piniks an he even had named it Coolio. We had pikchurs in our mind of the poor cooler blindfolded an chained under a trailer next to the pit bull tryin to escape to git back wiff us.

On Jeff’s turn at the wheel , 2 am, We were headed on hiway 58 jes outside San Margarita, you know the real twisty part. Jeff had dropped sumthin an reached down to pick it up when off the road we went. First one side then a nother, he got it back under control. A little while latter he dropped a empty bottle an reached down to git that! I jes turned and sayed “ Jeff it’ll be thar when we stop” sos he jes wnet back to drivin an when we stopped it was rat thar.

On the match itself whut I member goin on wuz first on the Near and Fear Standards. On the signal I dropped down at the fifty yard line an wuz almost ready to fire when…BANG… the shot went way leff an as I wuz a wachin the bullet go astray I wuz a pullin for it to break rat. I never seed a bullet go so slow but it broke rat an….ARGH… got a C!!!. I then hear this . TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC, TIC,.. I AIN’T DUN. Rip off five more shots, unloaded an showed clear an as I wuz getting up I hear’t ..”Beeeep” Dang it. Wa’ll figgerin it wuz all over fer me I’d shoot a little an gab a mite wiff the RO an watch the other fellars shootin while I’st a waitin. The guy nex to me, Richard Brethour, went to reload on the 10 yard line an as he hit the cylinder the moonclip went sailin down the range. It wuz sorta funny ,(not funny, ha,ha but funny strange) that I could see everythin in slow moshen. The cylinder closed then opened agin an wuza spinnin as he tried to hit the rat spot fer the reload. He finally got it stopped enuff to put the clip in an got two shots off. I had a lot of impathy fer him…. My exact thoughts wuz “Better him than me.”

Stage one, Poker Face, or as we lak to call it “One Cheek Sneak” Kaws I could git one cheek on the chair an git a good shot wiffout gittin close to the no shoot. In fact my one cheek pert near covered the whole chair anysway. The RO wuz paying close attention but sayed I “Had no glutteral infraction”

On to stage two. Carnival . Looked more like a Yard Sale when we got done stuff wuz everywhar. Tony Phan had a unique method to make him shoot faster. He decided not to unlock his holster till he had yanked on it three times to get his short pulled up real tight, An after he got the revo out he went a blazin to make up some time. Jeff on the other hand went methodical on us. You could make out the individual steps in his run. After he got the one side dun you could hear the reload, the stomp on the actuator, the roll of the tires as the mover started off an then the …CAALAANG .. of the hard cover in front of the mover. Rick, however, topped it all when he went to the rat side he looked like a Pez dispenser, evertime his head would rock back another moonclip would hit the dirt. He went fer the last array an wuz ot of ammo but dropped down an grabbed one under some tupperwar an finished up. That wuz the fastest off ground reload in recorded history.

Stage three. Zipper. Started off wiff a couple BIG Targets that no one could miss, which we did anysway, and then the small ones that we could miss,. Did that too.

Stage four. Stop the Insanity, wish we could,. As it twer a classifier we all tried to clean it. Big John Richards came the closest but one B kept him out of greatness.

Stage five Hold On. You started by holdin a tennis ball in either hand that was tied to the wall. It was a strong hand only stage wiff three paper targets and three steel thru each window. If you were shootin a six shot you would be lucky to miss at least one shot on the first window so you would not try to make nine hits wiff nine shots. Huh Roge?

Stage six Black Box. This one I blazed on . It had three paper on each side staggered out so it was leff rat leff rat all the way down then three papper in a dark box wiff a port cut not quite centered on the targets. Wa’ll I run it in seventeen seconds, then the RO sayed that is a good time…. Too bad we got to score it now…. I had five C’s and three B’s. Added thirteen seconds on a seventeen second run… Oh wa’ll I scored style points doin it.

Stage seven. Charge A nother one of them run an gun stages where style points tweren’t a good thang. Nine paper targets in the front half strewn out all over the place then thourgh the gate an a rat target, leff target, rat target, an then four small steel in a colum sos you could only hit the firstest one then wait til it fell to take the nex an so-on an so-on.

Stage eight Speed Break. It wuz designed after a Steel Challenge type stage ceptin the targets were itty bitty spechally the stop plate an were fer out thar. The worstest trainwreck wuz when (Meltdown) Mike Homm went up thar to shot it. He would miss a shot an then speed up. Not a good plan Mike. Mike wuz able to stop the bleedin an finish the stage an then realized he wuz lookin at gainin 2 to 3 tenths of a second on the stage if all went well. Fellars steel quick stages are a survival stage at best.

Stage nine, Peek a Boo A classifier wiff a bunch of hard cover on it to help you stay in the lower class.. I shot this real bad but they would not move me down!!!!!

Stage 10 For Real? Start by pushin out a winder an takin on three paper targets. Then to the clothes line to hit three more paper behind some T shirts. Wiff the wind a blowin the T shirts tweren’t even a factor bein in the way….until Rick shot it. He came into the area an only could see one target, bein in the hurry that he wuz he jes fired whar they were supposed to be…They moved. Dang!! To Bad!!! At least that is whut Dean wuza sayin. Dean an Rick wuz in the same class an Dean wuza pullin fer him.

Stage eleven. Already tole you about the Near an Fear

Stage twelve X Count.. Wa’ll somebody wuz at the Loozyanna match an seed Durocher’s evil plan an copied it. You could not find a spot whar you could see an shoot at all the targets. Sos you had to slide from leff to rat shoot all the targets, slide rat to leff an shoot all the targets an then slide leff to rat an shoot all the targets agin. Two required reloads Six targets, one hit each each slide an oh yea X hits deducted one second offa your time. Lotsa people got lost an fired more than the allowed hits, Oh yea Shots Limited

Wa’ll I rambled enuff I gotta leave out the twister we saw in Texas an the words that had shivers goin down my spine, “Hold my beer an watch iss” Never a good thang. I will leave you wiff this advice from Roger Ruger for all you married folks . “Ifin you fight nekkid you won’t fight long” I guess you had to be thar. Later Tater.